elijah's the man

six weeks ago or so, i wrote a devotional for a friend who hopes to produce and distribute a booklet of meditations for my church sometime this next year.

here's my offering....

read 1 Kings 19.1-8

But [Elijah] himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die.... 1 Kings 19.4

In the course of my life, I have experienced times of light and times of darkness. One of my darker times occurred after I finished seminary and anticipated entering ordained ministry. Though the path leading to – and getting through – seminary and the ordination process was challenging, all indications were that God was calling me to the ministry, primarily a ministry of visual arts. Everything proceeded according to plan, until my plans were derailed at the very last hurdle. It is a long story but suffice to say, I opted to stop for awhile and take a rest. And then the darkness of hopelessness came on like a freight train, and I wondered where God was and why he didn’t just end it all right there and then. What was the point of a life given to God when it didn’t appear God was interested in using it? How could things go so badly after going so well? Elijah faced the same questions after defeating the priests of Baal (see 1 Kings 18)...now running for his life, all Elijah wanted to do was lie down under a bush and call it a day. God knows that the life of a prophet – or a priest or a lay person or anyone who chooses to follow God – is not always easy. But God also knows that the antidote to days when things seem the bleakest is time and patience and the comfort of physical, spiritual, and emotional rest. Waiting upon God is what I call it, and is what I have done every day since my life pretty much fell apart. When I was convinced nothing would ever change, I made a conscious decision to appreciate what God had given me, which was the time to pause and look around and consider other ways of serving God, the chance to develop patience in the face of the unknown when there seems to be no point to it all, and the physical, spiritual, and emotional rest that comes with enforced stillness. God also surrounded me with – and continues to send my way – extraordinary people who nurture, support, and refuse to let me give up even when I am convinced I have completely and utterly misheard my call. As I write this 18 months later, I have seen God open different doors, prepare my way down a different road, and gently but firmly keep a hand to my back, urging me to continue following him down the scariest path I could imagine but having embarked upon wouldn’t trade for the world. It is on this journey that I see God.

Gracious God, when days seem darkest and the way seems unclear, enable me to listen and follow. Help me support those who need a word of hope as others have encouraged me. Amen.